The role of parents in building a child’s self-esteem

It remains strictly unarguable that parents or guardians have a gargantuan role to play in building and feeding the self-esteem or self-confidence of their child.

According to a study by University of Washington researchers, as early as at age 5, children already have a sense of self-esteem comparable in strength to that of adults. That is to say that at the age of 5, a child has already structured the foundation for the self-confidence with which he will live for the rest of his/her life.

If children aged 5 already have a sense of self-esteem, it must be regarded as a clear indicator that parents and guardians contribute largely to the level of confidence children turn out to have in themselves when they grow into teenagers and ultimately, into full grown adults.

Dario Cvencek, a research scientist at the University of Washington’s Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences, said concerning their findings, “Our work provides the earliest glimpse to date of how preschoolers sense theirselves. ” We found that as young as 5 years of age, self-esteem is established strongly enough to be measured, and we can measure it using sensitive techniques.”

WHAT EXACTLY IS SELF-ESTEEM?

Merriam-Webster defines self-esteem as confidence and satisfaction in oneself. ‘Self-esteem’ can therefore be said to be the same as ‘self-confidence.’ They are both used interchangeably.

Self-esteem or self-confidence is the manner by which an individual sees, weighs, and carries him or herself. Self-esteem therefore pertains to the value or worth one places on his/her own self.

WHAT IS THE LINK BETWEEN PARENTS AND THE SELF-ESTEEM OF THEIR CHILD?

As aforesaid, parents or guardians inevitably play a huge part in determining the level of self-esteem a child turns out to have when he is finally an adult. People are always influenced by what they hear and see, children especially.

The environment and atmosphere a child grows up in and the words he is constantly fed with shape his paradigm, including his paradigm of himself. Before children begin to develop self-worth from their own achievements and accomplishments, they first look up to adults around them to derive a sense of themselves. This is the best time to instill the right words in them and portray the right attitude and behaviour before them. At this stage, parents must encourage, motivate, and celebrate their children and not talk them down in any way. Although constructive and strategic discipline and instructing must never be sidelined, embarrassing, bashing, and treating children with disdain aren’t good choices either.

Whether your child fails at something or not, never make them feel like they are a disappointment or that another kid is better off than they are. Children see and understand these things, and their minds assimilate them in ways that shape their perception of themselves.

THE DANGERS OF LEAVING THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SELF-ESTEEM OF YOUR CHILD TO FATE

To leave the development of your child’s self-esteem to chance or fate is to leave your child to the influence of the world outside your home. Guess what? The world doesn’t feel obliged to love your child or treat him/her fairly, and they most likely will not.

Your child is unlikely to build good self-esteem on his own (without positive help). The direct implication of this is that if you aren’t deliberate about helping your child become self-confident, your child probably will never be self-confident.

The reason is simple; he/she will have to resort to other kids, school, other adults, television, etc., to help, and it would almost certainly end in catastrophe. Other kids will jeer at the slightest chance, schools will judge your child by grades and other conventional academic criteria, other adults are too busy with work or loving their own kids, and the media is a bottomless pit of contents that are in majority unhealthy for kids.

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Every parent is saddled with the responsibility of nurturing those under their care. It is never advisable to do so nonchalantly or leave such responsibilities in random hands. Read more on self esteem in children and help them rise.